So, early on Matt and I discussed what diabetes is and how I manage it on a daily basis. What I didn’t expect was how much interest Matt would take in the daily maintenance of my diabetes. We’ve even turned testing into a little game – I ask him what he thinks my blood sugar is when I test and he gets three tries before I tell him what it is. He helps me figure out how much insulin to take depending on what my blood sugar is and how much I have eaten. Surprisingly, he is often better at figuring out how much insulin I need than I am.

I think the needles scare people, it reminds them of going to the doctor and getting shots, which at my age, isn’t very often. I have found that if I involve my friends in my diabetes that it is much less of an unknown to them, they understand it better, aren’t scared by it and are better apt to help me out if I need it. Therefore, I usually have my friends test their own blood sugars—they get to feel what it is like for me to test at least four times a day. I have also had friends draw up my insulin and give it to me. This is not for the faint of heart, but it helps them understand it and they are less intimidated by giving me glucagon if I need it. Matt now gives me my insulin every night and in the mornings on the weekends.

It was important for me to tell Matt the stories of when I was severely low, what had happened, what I acted like and what needed to be done in order to bring my blood sugar back up. It was also important to let him know how infrequently this occurs, but that it does happen. He now carries the LifeSavers when we go for walks and knows that when I ask for them that I am low and it’s best to find a place to get more sugar relatively soon.

There is a saying that “Knowledge is Key” and it couldn’t be more true, especially when it comes to diabetes. Informing and educating your friends, loved ones and potential loved ones not only insures that you will be taken care of but it will also reduce the fears and uncertainty that they may have. By reducing these fears you will eliminate some of the barriers a potential loved one may have.

Having Matt so involved in the care of my diabetes is an important part of his knowing who I am and loving me for who I am.

Matt's Story

I don’t remember exactly how long after I met Jody that diabetes came up in conversation. But that’s certainly not because it was an insignificant detail or something to be disregarded. In fact, for a period of several months, I thought about her diabetes quite a bit.

My early thoughts and concerns were probably pretty typical of people entering into a serious relationship with someone with diabetes. I wondered how it affected Jody in her daily life (limitations of types of activities, special diets, mood changes, etc.) and how that impact would factor into our relationship. I wondered how bad things could get for her health on any given day and how the disease would impact her long-term health. I wondered how often there would be problems, how well she would deal with them, and what role I’d play. Basically, I wondered what exactly was I getting into.

From the start, I knew the basics of diabetes – inability of the body to produce insulin in sufficient levels to regulate blood sugar levels, resulting in the need to regularly test blood sugar levels and administer insulin, the need to be aware of sugar consumption, periods of highs and lows, etc. But I certainly didn’t know everything about the disease, nor did I know how it affected Jody personally. So I asked lots of questions. How do you know how much insulin to give yourself? What’s the difference between long-acting and short-acting? What are the symptoms of being high and being low? What are the risks associated with the disease? How much trouble have you had managing the disease? What was your worst experience?

The great thing is that Jody knew all of the answers to my questions, gave me information about questions I hadn’t thought of, and basically removed all of the unknowns. She involved me in the management of her disease – I give her long-acting shots at night, I try to guess what her blood sugar is based on what she ate and how she is acting, I know what to do in case of an emergency, I know about all the different types of testers and insulin and pumps and all the other little implements of the diabetic.

I don’t think I can stress enough how important it is for diabetics to know all they can about the disease and how it impacts them individually, and for the partner to be curious. For a partner, uncertainty and ignorance can breed fear and wrong conclusions, which can cause great stress in a relationship. The best thing a person with diabetes can do for their partner is to be the resident expert in the disease, and if they don’t know an answer, track it down or track it down together. The Internet is a fantastic resource for this. Jody listens to my concerns and frequent silly questions. And as a result, I’m informed and prepared. So now, Jody’s diabetes isn’t a factor in our relationship.

Daily life with a diabetic isn’t really any more complicated or challenging than with other folks. We all have routines - brushing teeth, shaving, a morning latte or two, etc. - daily insulin shots are not significantly different. We all have sensitivities - allergic to cats, lactose intolerant, heartburn from spicy foods, sunburn easily, or whatever the case may be – and like diabetes, these sensitivities can be managed without any Herculean effort.

Diabetes is a part of Jody’s life and now a part of my life, but it’s not a burden. In reality, diabetes is just one of the things that makes Jody who she is, which is a really amazing person. And you know what, I’m pretty sure that diabetes makes her even more disciplined, health-conscious, responsible and aware than she might otherwise be. And it makes her appreciate how precious life is. I think some of those qualities are rubbing off on me, which certainly isn’t a bad thing. Jody is a very special person to me, and I appreciate and love every part of her.